Failure

In October 2019 Scientific American writer David Noonan wrote that research suggests failure is essential for success. Search Failure Found to Be an “Essential Prerequisite” for Success for the full article. Perhaps you have heard the common parenting advice to "let them fail" from experts worried about the so-called "snow-plow" parenting method which aims not to monitor and micro-manage like the "helicopter parent", but actively remove obstacles creating a level and risk-free path of life for children to walk. My industry is slowly forming an opinion on failure even while most successful people will admit that failure was part of their process.

Failure is not all it's cracked up to be. The article above references research that says it's not necessarily the failure that leads to success, but how a person responds to the failure that counts. Further, unmitigated and unrelenting failure does seem to be detrimental to the creative and productive process. Indeed, someone who "doesn't know when to say when" is seen as someone who seems to enjoy failure or is stubborn in a bad way.

I have worked with many people in my time who have experienced chronic and ubiquitous failure. One difference between those who get stronger and those who get stuck seems to be meaning. If we can discover why they failed, regardless the answer, I find them more likely to move forward into success. And this is consistent with the research as well. People who fail and then make no changes do not necessarily benefit from the failure. Not all failure is experienced equally, it seems.

So, parents, do not fear failure as a parent or for your kids. Fear inexplicable failure, or failure with no intention of remediation. Moving forward, and not just moving on, seems to be a key.